The Hidden Hazards of Hoarding

My name is Amy and my mom is a hoarder. She has been a hoarder for as long as I can remember, but through the years, has varied in her level of control over her affliction. The house was livable when I was young – I have (fading) memories of family gatherings and slumber parties…the happier years. While those memories cease to exist at about age 14, I feel fortunate to have even had them. Many children of hoarders, including my younger sisters, haven’t been so lucky.

I am in my 30s now and have long since left “the nest”, choosing to let go of the anger/disappointment/disgust/etc. that I’ve harbored towards my mom and her hoarding. It took time, therapy and a lot of soul searching for me to get to that point, but I really thought I had reached a Post-Hoard Nirvana. That is, until a recent family tragedy brought all those feelings back in an unexpected instant.

Out of respect for those involved, I won’t get into specifics, but essentially my youngest sister (12 years old) was in a very tragic car accident with two other family members, one of whom did not survive. My sister’s condition was critical and her status was changing it seemed almost every minute. To say it was an extremely stressful, uncertain time would be a gross understatement.

Once we passed the critical stage and things were looking more positive, it was decided that my sister would be moved to a Children’s Hospital where staff were better trained to help someone so young through such a traumatic ordeal. My mom rode in the ambulance, leaving me and my other 2 sisters to make the 1.5 hour drive from the original hospital to the new Children’s Hospital.

Sounds fairly “normal” so far, right? Well, this is where the hazards of hoarding come into play. My mom is a compulsive shopper/hoarder, and it is not uncommon for her 7-seater SUV to be filled with her most recent purchases. This day was no exception. Her car contained so much stuff that, out of 7 possible seats, only the driver and one passenger could fit. It would be impossible for me and both of my sisters to ride together. “That’s what happens when you try to use a hoarder’s car”, one of my sisters commented.

In that instant, I felt all of the negative emotions from my youth come flooding back. How unfair that, at a time like this, my sisters and I were left yet again to deal with my mom’s problem. Normal people would be able to drive together without even having to think about it. Not us though. Our family isn’t anything close to normal.

Fortunately, we had two family friends who volunteered to drive one of us to the new hospital. They didn’t complain about the 3-hour round-trip this meant for them, or the fact that it was 1am and they had to work the next day. It was a true act of selfless generosity, and somehow I found myself apologizing. Not for anything I had done, but for my mom’s hoarding and the side effects it had on them. And then I got angry. Angry that my 30-something-year-old self somehow found herself back to square one.

The Ultimate Measure of a Man - A Tribute to Steve Cary

 

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

 – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

On Thursday, October 13^th, 2011, Steve Cary saved 3 lives. The life of his wife, Gloria, the life of his 12-year old niece, Savannah and the life of a stranger who’s truck came smashing head-on into that convertible he was so proud of. I can’t imagine what thoughts he must have processed in those split seconds before the crash, but somehow he managed to angle his car just enough so his body would absorb the majority of the impact.
 

In a mere moment, my Uncle Steve faced the ultimate challenge…and he took a stand. He chose to protect the lives of his loved ones, at the cost of his own. Why he was placed in this position, I don’t know. I will probably never know. For now I take comfort in remembering him in life, not in the moments before his death.

Each one of us has our favorite memories of Steve. For me it was a quick chat about photography at a family gathering. Or sitting under the stars in Yosemite talking about traveling the world during his Navy days. Or simply pointing out how cool the bird that just flew by was. And that’s what was so great about him. He was always curious, always learning and always teaching.

Steve was also a solid man who could be counted on when storms were at sea. For my sister Savannah, he picked up where my dad left off – acting as the father figure she so desperately needed in her young and already arduous life.

It is with a heavy heart that I say goodbye to such a heroic man. His sacrifice has humbled me to my core. I am a better person having known him and I will never forget all that he has taught me.

A slice of Humble Pie served up in Atlanta

POW!...
Just when I started thinking my morning was getting complicated, I get smacked in the face with a dose of reality.

I'll start from the beginning (nutshell version)...
Heading to LAX. Early dawn flight. Worked late. Procrastinated packing. No sleep. Flying standby. Reservation issue. VERY rude United employee. Delta cures all, but 6 hour delay.

And here's where the life lesson comes in...
I managed to sleep the entire leg from Austin to Atlanta and woke up to the plane landing (abruptly jerking me out of snooze-ville). Still groggy, I started thinking back to that rude employee and cursing the fact that I missed my non-stop and now have to spend 6 more hours on a plane. Then my neighbor lifts the window shade and we see it. The American flag with a soldier in full uniform waiting next to it. And it hits us. That soldier is waiting for a body. A soldier's body that has been below us this entire flight.

I'm instantly humbled when I think about the family and friends who will receive that body later today. Suddenly those 6 hours stuck on a plane feel more like a gift rather than an inconvenience. Heck, even the screaming baby two rows behind me doesn't sound as ear piercing.

OK Travel Gods, I hear you and I'm listening, ever thankful. Life is good. :)

SXSW Success!

I had a great time at my first-ever South by Southwest. It took a lot of energy and I lost a lot of sleep, but I saw quite a few great bands and really got a feel for what this town has to offer. Plus I only spend around $60 over the course of 4 nights!!!

Here's a list of who I saw:

Wednesday 3/16
AWOL Nation at Rusty Spurs
Flogging Molly at ACL Moody Theater
Queens of the Stone Age at La Zona Rosa
Duran Duran at Stubb's

Thursday 3/17
Skrillex at Cheer Up Charlie's (video below)
Moby at Cheer Up Charlie's
The Strokes at Auditorium Shores
Smoosh at Cedar Street Courtyard
The Bangles at Cedar Street Courtyard

Friday 3/18
City & Color at Stubb's
Airborne Toxic Event at Stubb's
Scala and The Kolacny Brothers at Stubb's
OMD at Stubb's

Sunday 3/20
Olin and the Moon at Cheer Up Charlie's

I have to say, while it's hard being away from friends/family, I'm feeling a lot more confident in my decision to move. There is so much to do here now that the weather is warm, it's hard to sit around and feel lonely. Yeehaw!

Hello Sunshine!

After an unusually cold winter (even here in TX), Spring has finally sprung!

First Steps on a Photowalk

Went on my first ever photowalk today in South Austin along 1st Street. It was a great time, I think I'm hooked! Enjoy the photos, I'm sure there will be more to come.

Photowalk - South 1st

Nature calls as snow falls

Ahem...I don't know how else to put this, but nature called this morning at approximately 3am. Normally this is not blog-worthy news, however, today was not our typical Austin morning. As most of you already know, Mother Nature has been flexing her winter muscles, leaving a large portion of the country under arctic layers of snow, sleet and ice. Austin has been seeing freezing temperatures for the past week, and was now supposedly facing a chance of snow. That's right...SNOW. In TEXAS! I didn't think it was possible, but despite my doubts, I peeked out my curtains to take a look.

You can probably imagine my surprise when my eyes met a sight I thought I'd never see here. A thin, fluffy, white blanket already covered the lawn in front of my apartment and tiny snowflakes continued to fall from the sky. Being a SoCal native, this is quite a rare sight for me to witness. Snow is something I prefer to experience in photos, on facebook, while I'm soaking up the sun by the pool. Heck, I even considered ditching all my winter clothes before I headed  out here - surely I wouldn't need them down in the Lonestar State!

It was 3am so the city was still sleeping, and even though I didn't want to accept it, I had to appreciate the magic of the moment. Embracing my enchantment, I layered up, grabbed the camera and opened the door. The frigid air bit through my long johns, searing straight through to my bones, but I was on a mission. Even my cat, Cooper, caught a whiff of curiosity. He put one of his California kitty paws in the snow (ok, so I might have "helped" him) and quickly b-lined it back to the front door. After a few more minutes I realized he was right. My paws were practically frozen too. Satisfied that I has captured the moment, I went back inside and turned the heater up to a more comfortable 75 degrees.

Snow Day!

More "Thai", Less "River" Please



Pei Wei's Thai River Noodles

Call me a sucker for marketing campaigns, but when I stood in front of the Pei Wei menu boards, thinking about my options, I couldn’t resist the call of the Thai River Noodles. It was their newest dish and the digital display practically plucked me from my place in Texas and transported me to a busy street in Bangkok. I closed my eyes and could see the crowded sidewalks, feel the tropical air and smell the exotic spices and sauces in nearby restaurants.

Meanwhile, back in the USA…

As I order the noodles with tofu and vegetables, I’m informed that they just ran out of Chinese broccoli and will substitute with “regular” broccoli. “That’s fine”, I say, but secretly I wonder if my surprise trip to Thailand is about to come to an abrupt end. Hoping for the best, I sit down and feel a rush of excitement when my plate is placed in front of me.

Visually, the dish is impressive. The portion size could feed a family of four, and bright vegetables contrast beautifully against the bed of noodles. The broccoli, the carrots, the red peppers all look fresh and the noodles appear to have been perfectly cooked. I grab my chopsticks, dive in and take my first bite. Expecting to be taken right back to my dream of Bangkok, I was disappointed to find that my taste buds were stuck in Texas. The first word that came to mind was BLAND. Second, DRY. Everything tasted the same and the tofu was overcooked. Convinced that I must be missing something, I took another bite. This time I dug around for some red pepper flakes, praying that would kick things up a notch. No such luck. It was a little spicier, but I had to be honest. There were hints of soy in what little sauce was at the bottom of the bowl, but this dish simply didn’t taste like it had any real Asian influence.

To make matters worse, after a few more bites, I discovered a hair hidden in my noodles. My appetite was lost immediately and, while the manager was very apologetic and did everything he could to remedy the situation, I don’t think I’ll be ordering the Thai River Noodles again.




UPS cleans the mess!

Well folks, I'm happy to announce that the seemingly endless saga of "The Disappearing 29-foot Trailer" has come to a close. It has been just under 6 weeks since I packed my life up in a UPS Freight truck and sent it on its way to Austin, only to be told that my shipment had been "misrouted". A week and a half (and 2-3 phone calls a day) into the confusion, the truck was located in Columbus, OH and, five days after that, pulled into my driveway. Most of you have already witnessed the horror I discovered when I stepped on the truck, but if not, see my previous blog. In a nutshell, it looked as though the trailer had done a few somersaults with my stuff inside.

In a state of shock, I salvaged what I could and prepared myself for battle with the claims department. I pulled out the big guns for this one and asked my friend Stacey (who is an expert consumer rights advocate) to help me draft a letter and find executive email addresses - thanks Stacey! I tweeted, I blogged, I facebooked my photos and did whatever I could to get the attention of UPS. Something must have worked because not too long after all of that, I was contacted by the UPS Freight Claims Director who promised to personally look into my case and keep me informed. Based on my experience over the past 3 weeks, however, I was skeptical. I figured that was what he told everyone and that I'd never hear from him again.

Proving me wrong, and true to his word, the Claims Director (we'll call him "John") got back to me and explained that my shipment somehow did not get logged when it left CA. That's why it was sent to Ohio where it was unloaded (which was not supposed to happen either) and, instead of someone owning up to it, they threw it back on the trailer and shipped it off to Texas. John assured me that the mistakes had been recognized and the people involved had been written up. He also said that UPS was going to offer a good faith settlement to replace what was damaged and waive the shipping fees - very generous since their contractual liability was only $100!

All in all, while the experience was not one I'd like to repeat, I think it ended on a positive note. I believe that everything happens for a reason - I haven't quite figured out the lesson in this one yet - but I do feel that the outcome was fair. I got an explanation, an apology and a reimbursement check. Now it's time to put this behind me and settle into my new place. Who knows, maybe those pesky road pirates simply thought I needed to beef up my camping skills!

UPS Fright, I mean Freight

As most of you have heard by now, all of my belongings were "misrouted" by UPS Freight. For the last 2 weeks I have been calling 3 times a day wondering how a 29 foot trailer could be missing. Well, my stuff was finally returned to me today and this is the condition I received it in. I will be blogging about the experience soon!

UPS Fright...I mean, Freight

Austin Ahoy!

We made it to Austin! It was another long day of driving (approx. 7 hours) and I was reminded just how big Texas really is. I've done this drive before, in the opposite direction, and vaguely remember that thought going through my head. Funny how time tends to help us forget the "unpleasantries". Lucky for me, the speed limit is 80, so it felt more like we were flying. Not so lucky, however, for the unfortunate little bugs that dared cross my path.

Tank and Cooper (my two cats) did great together in their Pet Taxi - is it weird that I feel proud of them? I only gave them half a dose of the acepromazine today because they had been fully drugged for the past 2 days and I figured there would be residual amounts in their systems.

Anywho, as I got closer to my destination I could feel my excitement building...almost home! Sounds weird, but yes, this is my new home. About 40 minutes outside of town I stopped at a Walmart to grab some road snacks, ended up finding a UT Longhorns t-shirt as well (got to blend in!) and then zipped on in to the live music capital of the world. Once my moving truck arrives in a couple days, I'll be set!

To Texas, y'all!

Fully rested, tummy full (thanks Donald!) and cats drugged, I repacked the car and hit the road again. Today is my long-haul day. I'm hoping to make it across NM, past El Paso and into either Van Horn or Ft. Stockton, TX for the night. Easy Breezy.

Of course, with my sense of direction I should have known something was bound to go awry. Not even out of Phoenix yet and I found myself on the wrong freeway which ultimately meant about an hour long detour. No worries, all is quiet on the kitty front. The acepromazine has waved it's magic wand and my cats could be sitting in a kennel full of hungry pit bulls for all they care. By the way, I'd like to mention that today I put them both in the same carrier which made a HUGE difference - for those of you planning to travel with multiple cats. They were much more calm, didn't cry as much and look a lot more comfortable cuddling with each other. :) If you're in the market for a carrier, I used a large Pet Taxi for 2 adult male cats. You can find it here...I highly recommend it!

Anywhooo...11 hours, 2 Cliff Bars, 1 Red Bull, 1 bag of Cheetos (ugggggg) and 2 gas/cuddle stops (Tank can be quite demanding), we made it out to Van Horn, TX. Most shocking is that I haven't even been listening to any music...how is that possible?

Waiting for Tank

Well, I'm all packed and ready to go. The plan was to sleep in as much as possible (or as much as the excitement would allow for) and then hit the road to Phoenix where my friend Donald graciously offered me and the boys a place to stay. Being the type-A personality that I am, I thought that I'd easily have my car packed, the cats drugged and be on my way no later than 10am, putting me into Phoenix around 4pm. Just in time for a nice relaxing dinner. Beautiful!

Unfortunately, my perfect little plan began to unravel before I even opened my eyes this morning. Instead of sleeping in until 8am, my cats decided to wake me up at 5am. "OK, no problem Amy, just go back to sleep, you've done it before". Well, of course my type-A brain started thinking about packing and driving and schedules, so sleep was out of the question. "OK, just get everything done and start the drive earlier", I decided. Fine! I get the car packed, give Cooper (cat #1) his pill and start calling Tank (cat #2) to come in.

An hour goes by and I still haven't seen Tank, meanwhile Cooper is starting to walk like a drunken sailor. On man, this wasn't in my plans. "OK, calm down Amy" I tell myself, "surely Tank will show up soon and you leave at noon at the latest". No dice. Noon comes and goes, as does 2pm, 3pm...you get the idea.

I'm searching the neighborhood to no avail, I have all my neighbors on "Tank Watch 2010" but the little guy is nowhere to be found. Cooper is in la-la land and I'm starting to feel bad that he has been drugged for no good reason. Why couldn't things just go according to my plan!!!!???? I finally accept potential defeat and tell Donald that if he's not back by 5, my journey will have to wait until tomorrow.

Long story short - Tank made his appearance just before 6pm. Not wanting to admit that a cat could throw such a wrench in my plans, I decided it was full steam ahead to Phoenix. With the driver loaded up on Red Bull, Cliff Bars and peanut butter pretzels - and the cats just plain loaded - we made it just after midnight. So much for that relaxing dinner!

Life...in a box

As I'm standing in my driveway watching the 29' freight truck drive off, Texas-bound, I'm hit with a wave of anxiety. Oh crap, practically everything I own just got packed up (Tetris-style) into a 4x8x9' space and driven away by a total stranger. What if it gets lost? What if the truck crashes? What if road pirates hijack it and find my Mace Widow purple neon light saber? Surely the ransom demand will be far to great for this humble girl-on-the-move. Even my cats seem to sense that their prized scratching post is hitting the road... they are sitting next to me also watching the truck disappear.

Deep breath Amy, calm down. Everything is gonna be fine. It's all part of the "moving out-of-state experience". Oh yeah, did I mention I'm moving to Austin?

Disclaimer - photo taken from Google Images

Plumeria Pride

I've been waiting for over a year now, but it's worth it. My plumeria is blooming!