The Ultimate Measure of a Man - A Tribute to Steve Cary

 

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

 – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

On Thursday, October 13^th, 2011, Steve Cary saved 3 lives. The life of his wife, Gloria, the life of his 12-year old niece, Savannah and the life of a stranger who’s truck came smashing head-on into that convertible he was so proud of. I can’t imagine what thoughts he must have processed in those split seconds before the crash, but somehow he managed to angle his car just enough so his body would absorb the majority of the impact.
 

In a mere moment, my Uncle Steve faced the ultimate challenge…and he took a stand. He chose to protect the lives of his loved ones, at the cost of his own. Why he was placed in this position, I don’t know. I will probably never know. For now I take comfort in remembering him in life, not in the moments before his death.

Each one of us has our favorite memories of Steve. For me it was a quick chat about photography at a family gathering. Or sitting under the stars in Yosemite talking about traveling the world during his Navy days. Or simply pointing out how cool the bird that just flew by was. And that’s what was so great about him. He was always curious, always learning and always teaching.

Steve was also a solid man who could be counted on when storms were at sea. For my sister Savannah, he picked up where my dad left off – acting as the father figure she so desperately needed in her young and already arduous life.

It is with a heavy heart that I say goodbye to such a heroic man. His sacrifice has humbled me to my core. I am a better person having known him and I will never forget all that he has taught me.

Ahhhhh...Yosemite

It's summertime, so in my world, that means time to hit the road and do some camping in Yosemite. Every year my family stays at Housekeeping Camp for a little R&R. It's one of my favorite places to explore and take pictures, so, pretty much the minute I got there, I put on my tennis shoes and got to work. No matter how many times I visit, it never gets old. In a span of 4 days, I took over 100 pictures. Don't worry, I picked out the best ones...enjoy!

Yosemite 2010

I'm on a boat...

I was home for all of about 3 weeks when I started getting the travel bug again. Good thing my fam had a trip planned...this time the mode of transport would be a large cruise ship. This ship would be taking us around the Eastern Caribbean for a week and I couldn't be more excited.

We sailed, we snorkeled/scuba'd, we sunbathed, we even got stuck in the middle of the Atlantic for 6 hours with no electricity. Enjoy the show!

Caribbean Cruise

Relay for Life 2010

Yet another successful year for Fish Poop Soup! This was my 3rd year as Team Captain and I had a blast as always. I can't thank you guys enough for your generous donations and to those of you who showed up to walk throughout the day (and wee hours of the night)...I couldn't do it without you!

Relay for Life 2010

The Nightline piece about Hoarders, featuring my family

Last night, ABC's Nightline aired an episode about Hoarders and my family was featured. Dorothy Breninger, the organizer that worked with my mom during the A&E Hoarders show is featured as well.

ABC Nightline features my family regarding our "Hoarders" episode

This week ABC's Nightline News posted an article about Hoarding and how it affects different people. The article features Dorothy Breninger, the organizer who worked with my mom, Janet, back in November for the A&E "Hoarders" episode. Here is what they had to say about us:

'I Felt Really Helpless'
Janet Lamping, who, with Breininger's help, cleared the overwhelming mess that filled her house, insists hoarding is not a mental disorder. Lamping said she did not consider herself a hoarder, and the problem is manageable. "I can hear [Breininger] saying, 'Do it now, put it in a box, get rid of it, get it out of here,'" said Lamping. Lamping's house still has rooms that aren't clutter-free, but she says she's working on it.

In Lamping's case, as in many hoarding cases, a loved one called for help. Lamping's daughter Amy was desperate. "I felt really helpless, and kind of like I was watching a train wreck in slow motion every time I came home," Amy Lamping said. "It was very painful, and I think I dealt with it just by leaving, staying away as much as I could."

She said she doesn't share her mom's optimism that all the work done cleaning up her mom's house has solved the problem still buried underneath. "I don't know that I could say that my mom is completely better yet," Amy Lamping said. "I don't think you can just jump right out of something like this because it's taken years and years to get to where it was. It's going to take years to get out of it, I think."

To view full article, click here
By NEAL KARLINSKY and ELOISE HARPER
March 3, 2010

The San Gabriel Valley Tribune covers our "Hoarders" story

Read the recent article about my family's episode on A&E's Hoarders as published by the San Gabriel Valley Tribune.

When her husband died, her house became a reflection of herself and her family life. There was so much stuff piled up that there was no room to walk, nowhere to put anything. The devastation of Tom's death caused Janet to turn to compulsive hoarding, which is when an individual obsessively accumulates so much excessive clutter that it creates a debilitating and cramped environment. Even a photo of Tom, a Whittier Police Department sergeant, sat on top of clutter. But in a fateful moment that changed her life, cable channel A&E chose her story for the show "Hoarders." Things would change for the better.

Good Times with Old Friends

Wow, it's hard to believe that 2010 marks the 5 year anniversary since I graduated from business school. Time sure flies when you're having fun! Last night I met up with a bunch of friends from school and we got to catch up on what's going on in everyone's lives. Some are living/moving to other countries, some are engaged and some have kids (or have kids on the way) but overall, everyone seemed happy with where life has taken them.

What I found most interesting was that even though it has been 5 years, the minute we were all seated, it felt like nothing had changed. i guess that's the sign of good friendships. :)

We're gonna be on the Bonnie Hunt Show!

So most of you by now know that my mom was recently featured on A&E's show Hoarders. It was a scary thing to reveal such a long-kept secret on national television, but the response we've received has been nothing but positive.

Well, it seems that Bonnie Hunt also thought my mom's story was interesting enough to invite my family to be on her show. So yesterday we all traveled to Culver City and got to meet Bonnie Hunt. She is an amazing person, totally down to earth and extremely genuine. That's always nice to see in someone of celebrity status. I'll probably post more about the experience, but for now, be sure to watch our episode on March 10th!

Day 3 after the Hoarders episode aired

Well, it has been 3 days since the Hoarders episode aired and so far, the response seems to be very positive. I've gotten some emails from friends who saw the show offering support and wishing us the best. My mom has also gotten a lot of encouragement not only from friends & family, but from viewers who commented in the A&E forum. I'm so thankful that people are being compassionate because I know she was terrified of what others would think. She seems to have more motivation to get through the mountain of boxes after watching the show.

I also had a co-worker come up to me today to tell me that he saw the show and that his mom suffers from the same condition. He has been wanting to do something about it but had no idea how to start. I hope he decides to get help!

Yes, that is my family on A&E's Hoarders

About a month ago, I wrote to A&E asking for help with my mom's hoarding. Shockingly, they read my letter and within a week, the schedule was set for them to come help my mom. I know she was absolutely terrified to air her "dirty laundry" on national tv, but she agreed to get help and try to move forward with her life.

The team that came to our house was extremely gracious...very professional and respectful. By the end of the 2 days it felt like we had an extended family. We were all joking and laughing while we powered through the task at hand.

Tonight the show aired, to view the full episode click here.

Katie sings Biggest Fan

My little sis, Kaitlyn Noelle sings Biggest Fan.



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Savannah's 11th birthday

Savannah's 11th birthday is tomorrow and we celebrated at home doing what she loves most...video games! The four sisters got together at the house(a rare occasion!) and played some Mario Brothers on the Wii for a while. Mom brought a delicious mint chocolate cake from Cold Stone, we punched a pinata hanging from the stairs (rain forced us to take it indoors) and had some dinner at her favorite restaurant, Macaroni Grill. Happy Birthday Vay!

Katie sings for my birthday

My little sister, Kaitlyn, has an amazing voice...how I'm related to her I have no idea. Anyhow, she asked me what I wanted for my birthday this year and all I could think of was for her to sing my favorite Christmas song, Oh Holy Night. Here it is for all the world to enjoy. :)

Oh, and the creepy Santa thing is there because she had to be far from the microphone...sista's got some pipes!



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Autumn colors in Salmon, Idaho

The two days I spent in Salmon, Idaho were well worth the trip. Flying and driving was exhausting, but the scenery was unlike anything I've ever seen before. I think between the two of us, Trevor and I took about 300 pictures. Thank goodness for digital cameras!




After picking Trevor up from Salt Lake, we made our way north to Salmon, Idaho. The drive was absolutely beautiful and I decided that Fall is my favorite time of year to visit. I also decided that karma can be a cruel, cruel thing when it wants to be. Remember the ticket that Maria and I avoided earlier in the trip? Well, no such luck for me the second time. I was nabbed for speeding in Challis, about 50 miles from our destination. Drat!

Salt Lake and Salmon

My last adventure during funemployment started with my first ever stand-by flight. Fortunately things went smoothly with no delays and I was on my way to Salt Lake City before I knew it. I was met by my cousin Maria and her 4 year old son, Hayden, who had been anticipating my arrival all day and managed to pass out from exhaustion minutes before my arrival. :) Maria and I were able to catch up on the drive out to her house in Lehi and I got my first taste of Autumn colors...so beautiful!

Mud Run 2009 - Team Dirty Deeds

Mud Run 2009

Today I completed the Camp Pendleton Mud Run for the second time. In a nutshell, it's a 10km obstacle course set up on the marine base complete with walls to climb over, tubes to crawl through, a lake to traverse and hills to conquer...all while being soaked with furious fire hoses. As daunting as it sounds, it's actually quite fun. This morning when I woke up at 5:30am (on a saturday!), I was questioning my decision to do it again, but once I started running I remembered why I wanted to.

My team did very well, we finished in 1 hour and 21 minutes, beating our time from last year which was our goal. I was also very happy to discover a huge difference in my performance from last year versus this year. This year I got to mile three and felt like I had just started, whereas last year I was struggling almost the entire time. Working out with a trainer really makes a difference!

Rest in Peace Grandma Graham

Sadly, my grandma passed away this morning. I am fortunate to have many great memories of her that I will cherish always. Before leaving on my recent road trip, I got to talk to her about Martha's Vineyard (where she grew up) and she was so excited for me to see her hometown that she wrote me a 14-page letter filled with recommendations! She will be missed by all of us and I hope she is now resting in peace with Grandpa.